I remember sadly my middle school years and seeing two of my classmates continually harassed. When discussing this topic in public, the reaction from some has been, "Kids will be kids and bullying is a part of growing up."
Today, cyberbullying has taken the old-fashioned teasing to a whole new level. In some way, it may be that the ability to tease without being face-to-face or even identified makes it easier.
Do you find yourself more willing to write a heated email than have a heated conversation in person? Do you ever make a nasty comment on a blog under an anonymous name that you would never say if your name was attached?
When I served as an elected official, I felt first-hand the effects of anonymous bloggers making comments on local news websites. Although there are standards and "offensive" material is taken down, comments could be hurtful.
Not one of my critics was willing to put their name on their comments or meet with me to discuss their concerns when offered the chance. As an adult, I was able to handle the comments and take them for what they were. Unfortunately, our youth may not be able to withstand the criticism they endure online.
It's important to realize that bullying has reached new levels with technology in the hands of kids and adults. It has just gotten easier to bully with a phone in almost every teen's hand linked to photos, texts and social media.
The number of people a bullying comment can reach in a matter of seconds is staggering. Once a picture or comment is online, getting it back can be impossible. The anonymity people feel behind the keyboard also makes it easier to bully others.
Doing a search on suicides linked to cyberbullying turns up too many sad stories of young people who felt they could not match the power of the Internet and gain control of the teasing. Popular celebrities have been speaking out on the issue, and the media is making an effort to spread the message. We all need to do our part.
Christian Critzer, a tree farmer, began a Christmas tree donation drive to raise money for the Martha Jefferson Hospital Cancer Center Foundation in Charlottesville, but the zoning board claims that his drive violates the city’s zoning ordinances.
“He is breaking the law,” Councilor Frank Lucente said. “We have laws. You cannot run businesses in neighborhoods. When you start interpreting the law, where does it stop? It’s against the law to set up a business in a residential neighborhood ... You have to have laws to regulate things ... It’s against the law to do it. End of story.”
Critzer aimed to accumulate funds that would be used for custom wigs for those battling cancer. His wife is a breast cancer survivor, and he wanted to “demonstrate the spirit of Christmas,” while also providing trees to low-income families.
“The laws that they said I was breaking, I wasn’t,” Critzer said. “It’s as simple as that … I grew up in the neighborhood when it was farm and fields. Saying that my yard is any type of a business ... I was just running a charity, not a business. I think I’m getting picked on. It’s time sensitive, selling Christmas trees. This was my last weekend to sell. I didn’t meet my goal. I will meet it, someway. I will have a Christmas tree charity somewhere in town. I’m not going to stop doing this. It’s ridiculous. I hope that I can do it here. Nobody really has a problem with it.”
In late November, a zoning official showed up at his home to tell him that he was not allowed to run a retail business on Rosser Avenue because the area was zoned for single-family homes. The zoning board demanded that he stop his activity or legal action against his landlord would be taken, according to a news release from Rutherford Institute, an Albemarle County-based civil liberties organization defending Critzer.
“If he wants to sell trees for charity, do it at a location that is legal to do it,” Lucente said. “The Lions Club sells trees for charity out on 250 West. If he wants to do it [at another location], that’s fine, no problem ... It’s not about what he is doing, it’s about the location he is doing it in.”
Talk to your child about cyberbullying. Make sure you keep an open dialogue so he/she feels comfortable coming to you with any issues.
Be familiar with your child's interactions with friends and others. While cyber bullying can be caused by a random person -- and thus difficult to prepare for -- trouble with friends and others in your child's social circle can also lead to cyber bullying.
Teach your child not to respond to cyber bullies. Bullies enjoy the response. By not responding, that may encourage them to move on.
Limit the amount of information your child shares online. Bullies can use multiple methods of communication to taunt or harass. By limiting your child's exposure, you make it easier to limit a bully's access. This may also limit the chance of a random cyber-bullying incident.
If the bullying is a problem, consider closing down the particular point of access, if possible. Email, instant message accounts and even some phone companies allow you to block specific user names or phone numbers. Most companies will even let you change cell phone numbers, email addresses and instant message accounts if needed.
If your children are being harassed or threatened, report the activity. Many schools have instituted bullying programs, so school officials may have established policies for handling incidents. If necessary, contact your local law enforcement, your local police department or FBI branch are good starting points.
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